Guest Blog from my dear Friend Jse-Che

Below is a guest blog from my dear friend Jse-Che

Farewell for now and happiness to you both

One of the most difficult aspects of friendship is seeing your social circle shrink as members relocate because of school, work, or marriage. This is just one of the realities of globalization which has changed the nature of migration patterns, often for very intriguing reasons.

My friend, Dave, is now a newlywed expatriate living in Turkey-a married man of several weeks. We said goodbye at the end of September, doing what we always seem to find ourselves doing whenever we meet-dining at a cheap and cheerful restaurant in Chinatown.

I'll readily admit that I had some apprehensions when I first heard that Dave was in a relationship with a young woman who lived thousands of miles away. A friend can't help but be a bit worried in such a situation. After all, Kevlar and Teflon were never intended as emotional shields against heartbreak. I'm certain that Aysegul's friends felt the same-at least until Dave showed up with offerings of Canadian candy and snack items.

Nothing says "Hello! I'm friendly" like junk food!

One can never predict how globalization will influence the ways people will meet their future spouse. I know of one Canadian who met his wife during a Vancouver to Sydney, Australia flight and who now lives in Melbourne, awaiting the birth of their first child.

If there is someone for everyone, Dave and Aysegul have travelled great distances in order to find each other. Everyone knows that French, Italian, and Spanish are known as the languages of romance but who would have thought that the early stages of love could bloom in a German language institute located in Berlin?

Anyone who has experienced a long distance relationship, knows that one must be prepared for the challenges and difficulties that come with the territory. Phone calls are crucial and thus Skype and long distance phone cards now become the glue of these relationships.

Did anyone know about Dave's watch (actually, it might have been Aysegul's), set to Ankara time? These days, when you ask him what time it is, you'll only get one answer rather than two.

I know that these newlyweds have overcome some immense barriers-mostly geographical-in order to be together at last. One compelling confidence that Dave shared at his farewell dinner: there would be no difficult goodbyes this time because he would be going to Turkey and staying on after the wedding.

I would have enjoyed listening to Dave's serenade to Aysegul at the wedding reception. Is there anything more touching (or more courageous) than singing a Turkish love song to his wife? No pressure in a room filled with in-laws, your family, and celebrants looking on!

Regretfully, I wasn't able to attend the wedding celebrations and sadly, it's going to be at least half a year before I will be able to offer my congratulations to the happy couple. On the eve of their wedding, I was abroad in Europe, enjoying dinner at a Turkish restaurant with my Dutch hosts. Coincidentally, there was a wedding party toasting the happiness of their friends in that very same restaurant.

When the owner came to our table, I asked, "Could you tell me what time it is right now in Turkey?"

When he told me, I said to my friends at the table, "It's official. My friends must be celebrating their great day right now."

Well, Dave. You're now living in a country that I will want to visit one day. Scout out the Chinese restaurants in Ankara and report back. I'll be there as soon as I can get away.

And as it should be, the final word goes to Aysegul. Congratulations and well done. I look forward to seeing you again so that we can continue our talks about movies, culture, and belonging.

Şerefe!

Ginger and Football

Many of you may know that I love my Ginger. Like crazy. I munch on candied ginger all the time and drink ginger tea whenever I can. I brought a huge stash of ginger tea from Canada but now sadly my supply has almost run out.

Today I set out to find a Turkish alternative to fuel my desperation for the tea. I had found a shop my last time in Ankara, but this time, I had not been able to find it after many days spent searching:) But today I finally found it. There was the shop right there on Guvenlik Caddesi – I had probably walked by it a million times but not realized it.

I walked in and all was immediately familiar. Right away I saw the gigantic bottle of this dried ginger at the back and knew I hit a goldmine.

An older gentleman was running the shop. We greeted each other in the usual formalities and then I asked for a small bag of the prized ginger tea. But he looked at me and said firmly: "Zencefil Çay size vermecağım!!". This means: "I won't give you any ginger tea".

I just stood there. Looked at the guy. I mean, he was totally serious. I thought maybe I asked for it wrong but I was sure he said what he said. I stood there with a giant question mark running through my mind.

"What the $%#&*$%@@@??? " was the main thing going through my head. "Is this gigantic jar of ginger just not for sale or something? Or maybe this guy thinks it’s not healthy for me? Or maybe by some obscure law which I am not aware of, I am not allowed to consume this?

He said it again: "Zencefil Çay size vermecağım!!"

I thought: "Well that's just great. I walk over the whole city for several weeks looking for ginger tea and I finally hit pay dirt, yet I am forbidden to buy it"

Then he pointed to my hat. And said one more time: "Zencefil Çay size vermecağım!!" Then I realized what the hell was going on.

I was wearing a hat that said "BJK" - the logo for Beşıktaş, one of the biggest soccer/football teams in Turkey, based out of Istanbul. People in Turkey are serious about their football, and WHICH team you support. The team you go for isn't necessarily where you live – and it seems once you choose on it's like signing a contract - you are bound to it in blood.

(Of course I have broken that law in so many ways; I seem to cheer for whoever I feel like it:) I have shirts from BOTH Beşıktaş and Galatasaray (another popular Istanbul team), and a few days ago there I was cheering for Gençlerbirliği at a football match in Ankara).

The shopkeeper finally laughed and decided to give in to his loyalty and sell me the ginger tea for a lira and half. I asked which his team was and proudly declared “Fenerbahçe”, the third popular team of Istanbul.

So I smiled and walked out with my bag of ginger tea, and considered buying another hat for another team for my next trip to the shop. . .

Turkish Baseball

Well from football it's now onto baseball. I've been watching the baseball World Series from Turkey through the internet. However due to the time difference and lack of time, I am still watching games from 3 days ago:) I keep things safe by not checking the sports news and it still feels live.

The key part of this baseball experience is the teaching. Baseball is hardly known here in Turkey, except for cheesy baseball movies and cartoons. And let me tell you baseball is one complicated game to explain. I mean - who came up with all these complex rules and strategies?

My brother Josh tried to do this at Ara cafe in Istanbul when we were there, taking the back of a table place-mat and drawing a complex "how-to" diagram for Ayşegül's curious friends.
Tonight my new buddy Emin and I watched Saturdays game (pretending it was Saturday and the game was live:).

My challenge this evening was teaching baseball all in Turkish. I had to perform a fair amount of sound effects and miming in order to get the point across (not to mention many diagrams which you see above), but it seemed to work:). I also learned the Turkish words for pitcher (Atici) and batter (Oyun Kurucu). For anyone out there please do not tell me the score of any game until at least a week after, as it seems it takes me that long to catch a game.

A wild day at 19 Mayis Stadyum

Today I went to my second football match ever with the last one 30 or so years ago watching Pele play for the New York Cosmos in Toronto. With my new buddies Chris and his son Matthew, and Carlo, Oğuz, and Emin. First stop was the Beer Bus Bar in Kizilay to have some drinks and get ready for the game and make our way to the stadium to see home team Gençlerbirliği face Manisaspor.

After exiting the taxi we were greeted by the loud thunder of a political rally right beside the stadium, the road clogged with people. Entering the stadium was a whole new experience for me – being frisked up and down, bag checked, amidst the excitement of the crowd moving to the entrance gates. Inside we found our seats to the never ending cheers and chants.

We were sitting in the “commoners” section – across the stadium sat the VIPs. No cheers from them. They sat in their seats and sipped their tea and that’s about it. Then off in an isolated and secluded corner of the stadium were the wildly chanting Manisaspor fans. I don’t think I ever saw them sitting down, constantly chanting and jumping up trying to motivate their team.

The sun shone bright into our eyes. So bright that some used newspapers as sun hats. For the whole game the chants of the home team were quite incredible. My favourite being “Kirmizi! Siyah! Hayatim, Ankara!” (Red, Black, My life, Ankara!!) The black and red referring to the Gençlerbirliği colours and those black and red chaps put quite a number on Manisaspor dominating the game with endless scoring chances and putting two goals in to win convincingly 2-0.

My new buddies told me it was the best they played all season. For me, the whole experience was quite something. The constant chants, and cheers, many times led by a ringleader to our left; everyone always seemed to look to him for guidance and just wait for him to ignite a new cheer. Although and older gentleman below me sure tried to match this ringleader, with many a biting comment on the action. Too bad I couldn’t grasp his commentary in my limited knowledge of Turkish.

One thing is for sure; although the stadium seemed practically empty – maybe 3000 fans in a 19, 000 capacity stadium – the energy of the fans were kinetic. Almost felt like a choir rehearsal - so many different songs to sing, while taking our lead from the ringmaster.

One of the chants was to support and motivate one of the stars of the team Hurşut Meriç. His first name is pronounced “Hoorshoot”. When I first heard this loud chant I wondered why everyone was saying. “Hoorshoot, Hoorshoot, Hoorshoot” – it really sounded like a chant you might say if a referee made a bad call:)

Apparently his name was Hurşit before he was advised to change it to Hurşut. Good call there. Anyways, my worries were laid to rest when it was explained all this chanting was in support of this star player, who actually came out to the pitch after the game was over to whip the fans in frenzy.

My new buddy Chris is a football regular and has a detailed blog on football in Ankara. You can check that out at

http://ankarafootball.com/